Believe

Everything starts as a thought. Just like the movie 'Inception', everything is a thought.

I'd like to think that thoughts can be controlled, just like everything else, rather than the other way around.

And if our natural disposition is to think the worst, how about replacing that thought with something neutral, even positive?

Combat the negative with a positive, challenge your thought. What if your thoughts are 'wrong'? What if my thoughts are 'wrong'?

I don't have any theories or proof, but I'm trying to change my own belief system.

I trying to believe in hope. I'm trying to not jump to conclusions, or think the worst, or blame myself for everything that goes wrong.

I'm trying not to berate myself for always making the same mistakes.

I'm trying to be kind to myself and at the same time, I'm trying to be strong and believe.

Always hard to do

Hoping even when things are looking bleak is a very hard thing to do. I'm not too sure if we're wired that way as humans.

I know I'm not. Most of us, myself included always default to fear and negativity.  It's like we expect the worst. We naturally want to believe that nothing good will come our way.

Un-wiring our heads to first hope for the best, is a very difficult thing.

But I've learnt over this last few years that hope is all we have.

Just imagine for one minute, life without hope, just how sad and bleak it would be.

Believing in hope is not easy when all around is dismal.

But what choice do we have?

I mean seriously, would you or I rather live our entire lives without hope?

I find it always easier to give people advice on hope than to take that same advice for myself.

I guess the first thing to change is our way of thinking.

A to Z Challenge Theme: Hope

I've decided my theme for the A to Z challenge 2016 will be 'Hope'.

A simple concept but one that's hard to maintain.

Hope.

The mind that races

Sometimes my mind races way ahead of me. When that happens I usually start to panic about all that I have to do, about all the decisions to make. It usually ends up with me feeling completely overwhelmed.

I try to stop it sometimes but it's like a roller coaster, once it starts going downhill there's no end until it's all over.

My mind has been racing since this year started, about my career and my life. Some days are better than others, some days I am frazzled with confusion.

So many decisions and no real clear answer.

But I've had a chance to regroup and rethink a bit.

Change is in the air, I can feel it. I have a few projects that I'm starting to get off the ground that will hopefully bear fruit later this year.

I have a few key decisions to make, the kind of decisions that require a leap of faith. It won't be easy, but deep down, I know it's the right one to make.

Whenever my mind races now, I try to talk my way through it, reassuring myself that it's all going to be okay, I just haven't reached to the finish line yet so I can't truly tell what it's going to be like when I get there.

What a race indeed.

A letter to the late Scott Weiland

Dear Mr. Weiland,

I am gutted to hear about your passing, it was untimely, it was so sad but to many it was not a shock.

To me it was a shock. To me your sudden passing brings back all my memories of covering your songs in my band in Trinidad - Brothers Grimm back in 1994/95. We covered 'Plush', 'Vasoline', 'Big Empty', 'Still Remains' and 'Interstate Love Song'.

When I heard the news on Friday, I felt as if a part of my youth had died, a part of my own history.

I can't speak to your battle with drugs, I can't judge you for that. I'm sad that drugs had such a hold on you, and I will never know what hell you saw. I will never what you went through. I can only read about it in an article or two.

All I do know is that I have all of Stone Temple Pilots' albums, I listen to them religiously.

I know your songs took me places, were with me through great times of youth and perceived childish freedom, your songs were my anthem when I was going through my own rough patches. Your lyrics held my interest and your vocal melodies always inspired me.

The musicianship you had with Dean Deleo, Robert Deleo and Eric Kretz was undeniable. You guys were the modern-day Zepplin and Beatles. So many songs brought out a range of emotions in me and I was always intrigued by the tone, feel and production of each album. Not many a band can boast of six studio albums that were each well written and properly produced, usually after the third album a band falters and fades, but not you, not STP. I loved each album for a different reason.

You did it, you wrote and record great music for each record.

That's a feat in itself.

And even though I didn't know and never will, I knew a part of you with your music, and even though it sounds contrite and puny, I just wanted to say thank you Scott. Thank you for your great contribution to music. Thank you for being a part of my own musical library.

You will be forever missed.

God be with you on your journey to the next side.

Nothing without a fight

Some things in life arrive smoothly and without much fuss. Other things come when you least expect it and bring either trouble or fortune.

Then there's those situations in life that you have to work towards, those experiences that stretch you and pull you apart, that make you feel as if you're going crazy.  You may work towards your goal and then it falls flat, you don't get what you thought you deserve. Even worse, someone else gets 'it' sooner and without much work and gratitude.

And the hardest thing for you to do is accept that your path is a different one, and perhaps your reward is just around the corner.

The real lesson is in the journey, not the destination.

But, it's always good to have a destination in mind.

Life is a funny thing, it usually balances out when you least expect it.

But it's always worth the fight.

Moths

We have a mini-moth infestation of sorts.

It seems to be mating season, right inside our pantry cupboard - the bedroom? Pasta and rice of course.

In the process of throwing out stuff that we didn't even know existed in the pantry shelf, we again discover so many unused things that we haven't used in eons.

How did it get there? why is it there? Empty bottles, old seasonings, cake mixes, etc.

We've started putting things to give away in bags and some stuff we leave on our wall. I'm sure the neighbours think we have lost it by now.

The amount of clothes we've given away, the amount of bottles we've recycled, it's crazy.

Makes you wonder, had we not sold, we would've lived with all this unwanted stuff forever.

We really accumulate too many things in this life.