Gigs, gigs, gigs

I love playing shows. Even the ones where I'm exhausted. Just getting up on a stage is like a drug for me. I've played hundreds, maybe close to a thousand shows over the last ten years of my life.

But yet, it's only happened a few times, perhaps about four that I can truly remember, where there's this perfect synergy between band and audience.

Four times. From 1990 to present day.

These are those times: -

- Roxy Cinema, Trinidad (October 1990) - My first 'real' show with my thrash metal cover-band Warhead, at the end of our set, the crowd was screaming our name, I was 16. We played an encore. The band lasted another year before we called it a day. I thought my music career was over then. Little did I know it was just beginning.

- El Mocambo, Toronto, Canada (November 2008) - I played a solo acoustic show for a group of underprivileged migrant school children. They all wanted my autograph after. I've never experienced such gratitude, I was 34. They never heard my music before. Such honesty and appreciation.

- Womad Festival, London, England (July 2014) - Charlie Gillet Stage, 4pm show. The crowd was screaming for us (Kobo Town) in-between every song. They sang along to songs they never heard till that evening, I know this because we've never played at Womad before. It was the loudest and most appreciative audience we've ever played for, we signed autographs for almost an hour after, I was 40.

- Assumption Church, Trinidad (2001 - present) - The Saturday evening choir is sometimes a hit and miss, but every once in a while we get it right, and we play hymns the way they're meant to be played - reverent, with love and homage to God, and I can see the look on the parishioners, that they enjoy what we do, and for a brief moment, the church is filled with a sense of peace and love. God's peace perhaps.

Four times, over the space of 25 years.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Persist. Persist. Persist.

Analyse. Define. Think. Re-think.

Question. Debate. Identify. Don't judge or criticize. Be gentle.

Determine solution(s). Have an open mind to change and various options.

View all ideas with equanimity.

Observe all emotions - don't act on any. Resist the urge to be rash or temperamental.

Stop living in the past. Stop it now.

Be patient with yourself. Be really understanding with yourself. Dig deep within. Don't look at how far you have to go, celebrate how far you've come.

Even if you fall again, say to yourself that things are improving. Say this over and over until you believe it.

Change perception. Hope for better.

Start again. Slowly. Remove all mental blocks. Don't look at the problems - real or imagined. Envision the result. Temporarily ignore barriers to achieving desired outcome. Don't berate yourself. Forgive all who have hurt you - whether they're aware of it or not.

Give thanks to God.

Be grateful - for everything including all the pain and heartache. View both as tools to helping you improve.

Seek always to improve. Hone your skills.

Use all alone time to focus on your craft.

Create. Create. Create.

Resist the temptation to procrastinate or stagnate.

Force yourself to do the work to get to where you're supposed to be.

Don't make any lame excuses.

Say thanks even for the blessings still to come.

Persist. Persist. Persist.

No matter what.

2015 and many more years to come

2015

It's a new year. To be honest, the fun of welcoming in a new year has lost most of it's appeal for me. Not that I'm getting used to another year. It's just the years of being drunk, screaming, hugging and kissing everyone has run stale.

Maybe it's a youth thing? I'm going to 41 this year. Not that I feel it.

This past Ole Years, I was in Antigua for a gig. When the fireworks went off and people began celebrating, I looked around at all the strangers and suddenly had the urge to be back in the hotel room, watching TV.

Being wasted, exhausted and piss drunk has lost it's appeal. Being productive, making a list of dreams, goals and challenges for a new year, now that's more like it.

Maybe there's something wrong with me?

Sounds reclusive and boring doesn't it? I'd rather be home making plans rather than celebrating another year with drunken strangers. Most of whom don't act their age.

Don't get me wrong, I just think any experience is made fun when you have good friends around.

And all my friends have scattered to various gatherings over the years. Perhaps it's time to get a new group of friends? One who party it up.

Ha! But seriously.

Thank you 2015 for coming around, I'd just rather greet you with sobering hope than drunken stupor.