Everyone needs encouragement. Kids and adults alike. We all need encouragement. No matter what it is we're doing. Big or small. Encouragement is the glue that binds us all. (woohoo, I just made that rhyme up myself! Yes indeed, I'm gonna be a rapper - just kidding)
We all need to be told we're doing a good job, even if we're not. We all need people to believe in our 'potential'. Even if we stink at what we're doing. Eventually, if we stick at it, we'll get better.
The kid who gets encouragement will develop the mindset to not give up when things get hard.
Perseverance is the key. And as the old saying goes - 'Practice makes perfect'.
Sometimes it's hard to see the potential in others. Sometimes the quickest thing to do is criticize. Now, we all need constructive criticism, don't get me wrong. How else would we grow as human beings. We should all be constantly looking at ways to progress on a personal level, and constructive and objective criticism can be rather helpful.
I once heard that a great person will never belittle someone else, but rather will encourage that person to achieve his/her full potential, and follow their dreams and set realistic goals towards achieving those dreams.
Sometimes people have been through so much of their own disappointments and heartache, that it's hard to be happy for someone else who's living their life the way they see it. Sometimes it's our own fear and jealousy. Sometimes things in our life aren't going that great and we project our problems onto someone else. We don't mean to, but it happens.
Sometimes, we create such rigid definitions of a 'normal, decent life with a plan' that anything out of the ordinary is instantly categorized as a failure, as not good enough. It's a strange thing to think outside the box. But history has shown time and time again, persons in the past who took a gamble with an idea, beat the competition and made a name for themselves.
As my dad would say, the prize goes to the bold.
Now the hardest thing to do is to not take a lack of encouragement personally. How do you not take harsh criticism personally? What if someone dear to you tells you that what you're doing doesn't make sense? How do you get beyond that? Do you stop what you're doing or do you continue at all cost? Either way you take it, the decision is a tough one to make.
How do you convince someone to believe in you?
Maybe firstly by believing in yourself. That's a good place to start. And even if you don't get the encouragement you want, eventually it'll come, from places and persons you wouldn't even expect to give it to you.
Not taking it personally means accepting that the other person is not really out to cause you any pain, but just afraid of loving you.
Terrible thing to live in fear. But it is easier to live and hide behind fear and anger rather than to live in love and act out of love. That's bloody horrifying to most of us. How do we act in love. How do we love completely to stand by someone, to support someone, to believe in someone. Even if it meant letting them go. Go and do their thing.
Letting go is so hard to do. There should be lessons on how to let go of someone or something.
The hardest thing to do sometimes is to give a loved one encouragement in a venture that we have no clue whether it will succeed or fail. I guess that's where trust comes in. And faith. Faith in that person's judgement and faith that if things don't work out the way it should, that things will work out, one way or another.
In the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness' - Will Smith's character (Chris Gardner) tells his son 'Don't ever let anyone ever tell you that you can't do something, not even me. You got a dream, you protect it. If you want something, go get it. Period'.
Sometimes, a kind word and a little patience can make the world of difference to someone. In some cases you may not have to say anything at all. Just be there, listen and smile. And hope and pray with the person as well.
I realized I went off on a tangent there, but on a smaller personal note.
I started playing football with a group of friends over the last three months, usually on a sunday. I haven't played since the Christmas season. But I went today. The guys all know I'm by no means anything great, but they all encourage me to take the ball.
And lo and behold, today I scored two goals from two amazing passes. Thanks Marc and Gerard. Thanks for believing in me. Now I know I will never play in any sort of football league and who cares. But still. What a game! What a day today was! Yes indeed, what a day!
I'd like to close by saying this.
Parents - encourage your children. Teachers - encourage your students. Siblings - encourage your brothers and sisters, don't pick on them, it'll leave scars. Lovers and spouses - stand by your partner and love them. Through thick and thin. Grow old together and make it work. Because it's so worth it.
