The air is electric

I'm writing this at 3.49AM. I'm writing before I forget to mention this again. This is gonna sound weird, but....

Sometimes while on stage, (it hasn't happened that often, maybe about 5 times in total in my entire live musical career of 19 years) a strange thing will happen, the band will be playing and all of a sudden, the entire vibe on stage just elevates.

We're all still there, but there's almost an invisible chain reaction and reciprocation between us and the crowd and I'm pretty sure we can all feel it. It's like this this amazing rush of energy and the sound just gets 100 times fuller, almost as if we're hearing ourselves in surround sound.

The crowd jut seems that much more alive, and we in turn play 10 times better. It's very hard to describe, but it's almost as if an energy wave is passing between us and the crowd. We're feeding off each other and the energy field is growing.

I can't quantify it, all I know is that my hair stands on my head, I am totally aware of everything around me, my pores raise and I swear I'm standing off the ground. I have never felt anything like this in my entire life. It is a rush, but only lasts for a few minutes at best.

It is a rare gift, but a treasured one. It is the miracle of music. That's all I can sum it up as - a miracle.

Can a feeling die?

Since I'm still up and since I'm still in a writing mood, I have a question that has been on my mind recently.

Here goes: If over a period of time a certain experience or situation is absent from one's life, does that mean that any feelings associated with that situation becomes so foreign to that said person that the feelings die?

I'm just curious? And perhaps maybe just a lil bit worried.

2.39AM on a Friday morning

We fly to Yellowknife at 6.30AM. So I've decided to not sleep, surely a brilliant idea I tell you.

Now my eyes are popping out of my head and my typing is terrible.

What am I writing to say? This summer's music traveling experiences have been going great, it's the days off that I find hard to cope with. Music is a drug and when it is all over, there are withdrawal symptoms. I rack my brain most days with what to do. And in the end the fear of wasting a day drives me to get out and about and see this city like I never did before.

I'm not burning down the city exploring every nook and cranny, but I sure am looking at everything with a renewed sense of awe. I'm in awe that I actually lived here, it was only last year that I was living here.

I don't think I could live here again, the city's solitude still screams at me. But in the background I hear the ocean waves of home, and it gives me a sense of peace knowing I'll be back there soon.

Trying to keep busy while on tour/road tripping

Things have a way of not turning out how we expect and it is hard in the face of adversity to make the most of things.

I am faced with a certain reality here, that while everyone else is working, I am here on a sort-of work/vacation. I have gigs on the weekend but a good many days off during the week....so what do I do?

I have to occupy my mind and pretend to be a tourist in a city I once lived, because the devil really does find use for idle hands by making us MORE IDLE.

It is strange, but it is as if I'm seeing this city for the first time, maybe all the years I lived here I was just merely existing and not living with the city. I don't know, it is hard to qualify.

But is it possible for the same place to be viewed a number of different ways over a certain indefinite period of time?

If so, then what an experience this is.

On the other side of the world

Well I'm on tour with Kobo Town. We're in Iqaluit, Nunavut - Canada's artic. It's still cold and and there's sun throughout the day. We've had tragedy struck us, our leader's father has died from what appears to be a heart attack. It's weird to know this and to be playing shows.

The gigs are over and after the funeral the tour will continue. But it is so strange to be here, knowing that we must go on, even in the face of this sudden loss.

I am also amazed at the people here, mostly Inuit, they look at us knowing fully well we're not from here and it is strange. The ground is still frozen and houses have very unusual shapes as they are all built on stilts. Still the people here are warm and inquisitive.

This is definitely an experience.

Forwarding emails - the road to hell is paved with...

I often wondered what that statement meant. I always thought it meant that sometimes with the best of intentions we do something only to realize it caused more harm that good.

I am in the midst of this harmful outcome, albeit on a small scale. After sending a number of email Fwds to 'friends', I am at the receiving end of a few rebuttals from those same friends for sending wrong information.

The manner in which the rebuke took place was embarrassing to say the least, seeing as everyone who was on the email chain was also informed of my mistake, and my only hope is to never be so arrogant to people whom I consider friends. The information in the email was wrong, that I admit. But to be admonished like that, was also wrong.

A genuine friend is rare indeed.

Three types of trinis

There's three types of Trinidadians:

1)Those who have no problem with the way the country is going, who have a plaster for every sore. Those who have no problem with rising crime, soaring inflation, continued unemployment, corrupt politicians, hooligan drivers. Those who have no problem with the HIV/AIDS problem in TNT. Those who don't see it as a problem that most marriages end with one or both partners being unfaithful. Those who don't have a problem with 3 Smelter plants going up in La Brea. Those who for want of a better word are clueless.

2) Those who used to live here and have moved away, be it North America, Canada, England, Europe or Australia. In some cases only for a few years, in other cases for decades. These trinis return home from time to time and state openly that they could never live here again - 'This place is too backward' they say. Their accent is now a foreign 'fresh water' one. 

If they want to forget their heritage that's fine with me.

My only question to them is 'Wasn't it always this way when you lived here? And if not did your leaving make it so - a backward country?' Didn't you grow up in this land that we all called home. And yes it has changed. But one should never criticise where one comes from, for be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. And no matter how long you live away, you will always be an immigrant to that land.

3) Trini # 3 is accepting the reality of life here, living with it on a daily basis and is trying his/her best to live through it/with it and adapt accordingly while still fighting the good fight of decency and brotherly love. It is not an easy battle. But Trini # 3 is certainly much more aware of things than Trini #1 & 2 ever will be. Trini #3 holds onto the memory of a beautiful Trinidad from years gone and believes that with hard work, an honest heart, faith and love that this land may one day return to being a paradise.

There is still no place like home