You ever get those nagging gut feelings sometimes? Those feelings that even though you're in a situation right now, a situation that you have asked to be put in, a situation that you chose; that maybe you've outgrown the circumstances and the location of things and that it's time for a change. Time to get out of that same situation?
I've been romanticizing the past, for years, for most of my life actually. I keep on looking back at how great things were in various times. When I was in Trinidad, I day-dreamed about how life would in Canada when I migrated. When I reached Canada, I reminisced about Trinidad and made the bad times look not so bad. In fact, I made myself believe that what I thought was bad was all relative, that it was actually great. It was the great old past, the good old days.
The truth is, things weren't always that great. There was always conflict, problems, a struggle, a fight and a solution.
I've realized that no matter how hard I try to go back to what once was, that it will never be the same again. More importantly, I've learnt that even if what once was not that great nor that bad, it doesn't mean that it will be better now. If some things had problems back when, it will have problems again because of the nature of the situation and the people involved.
That's just how it is. And maybe rather than going back to something because it was 'perfect' when compared to everything else (of course the comparison is the distorted lens through which I'm viewing the 'pristine' situation, a big mistake to begin with), the wiser, stronger and more productive thing would be to start anew.
Life is not meant to be lived in the past, nor too much in the future, but rather right now in the present moment.
While I now look forward to a better future, I will relish the now.
Carpe Diem.
I've been romanticizing the past, for years, for most of my life actually. I keep on looking back at how great things were in various times. When I was in Trinidad, I day-dreamed about how life would in Canada when I migrated. When I reached Canada, I reminisced about Trinidad and made the bad times look not so bad. In fact, I made myself believe that what I thought was bad was all relative, that it was actually great. It was the great old past, the good old days.
The truth is, things weren't always that great. There was always conflict, problems, a struggle, a fight and a solution.
I've realized that no matter how hard I try to go back to what once was, that it will never be the same again. More importantly, I've learnt that even if what once was not that great nor that bad, it doesn't mean that it will be better now. If some things had problems back when, it will have problems again because of the nature of the situation and the people involved.
That's just how it is. And maybe rather than going back to something because it was 'perfect' when compared to everything else (of course the comparison is the distorted lens through which I'm viewing the 'pristine' situation, a big mistake to begin with), the wiser, stronger and more productive thing would be to start anew.
Life is not meant to be lived in the past, nor too much in the future, but rather right now in the present moment.
While I now look forward to a better future, I will relish the now.
Carpe Diem.
